Last night Garrett Jones single-handedly defeated the San Francisco Giants. Jones hit 2 homers in the Bucs 2-1 win, the later being a walk off in the 14th, which he hit into the Allegheny river.
In just 12 games with the Pirates Jones has hit 7 home runs, more by far than any of the other current Pirate outfields has hit all season.
Way more than Brandon “Moss Man” Moss who has been a huge disappointment. So is Jones the long awaited answer? Well his name is sort of super hero sounding it definitely sounds like he could have an alter ego. But we are not quite sure if Garrett Jones is an alliteration, we have several linguists working to determine on determining if Jones’ name indicates any super powers. Also we are considering firing our linguistic team because they have been wrong quite often in the past and because of the economics hard times many blogs are experiencing. So where does that leave us with Jones? Well luckily we have some new information, certain things have come to light. Garrett Jones is a zombie killer. According to IMDB Jones played Chris in a Zombie movie called Automaton Transfusion in 2006.
Perhaps the key scene occurs after the young lead Chris (Garret Jones) is forced to kill his father, who had become a zombie. Chris returns to the vehicle where his two friends are waiting for him, and the very fact he arrives alone is enough to tell them all they need to know about what happened. Miller wisely avoids dialogue (anything the characters said would only be overstating the obvious), favoring an uncomfortable silence instead, broken only by the anguished wail that erupts from Chris’s throat when he is no longer able to contain the pain inside. It’s a moment guaranteed to squeeze tears out of even the driest eyes – the sort of achievement seldom found in a graphic horror film.
Not much more you can add to that. Here is the trailer.
Hopefully Jones will be that Automaton Transfusion that the Pirates need.